The Wait is Over

It’s been a long 3.5 years since I was indicted on November 6, 2019. My sentencing has been rescheduled twelve times. I have learned a lot about myself, others, and the legal system during this time. I have been able to work on my sobriety, making me a better person by regularly attending AA meetings. I wish I could say I don’t have cravings or think about drinking anymore but it would be a lie. I used to put my life in a bottle every time I decided to drink. I would self-medicate myself with alcohol to forget, to be loved, and to escape. I can control this urge with God’s intervention today through marking time and remaining resolved in my sobriety. God has given me a new happiness and life. I would say the biggest change in my life has been my walk with Christ. I rededicated my life to God 4 years ago and He has given me the peace and understanding my life was lacking. I am completely reprogrammed. I don’t chase money, greed, the bottle, or power anymore. It has been replaced with patience, service, and love. Through God’s love, my marriage has blossomed and my relationships with my children have been blessed.

My sentencing is May 8^th. I don’t know what exactly to expect. If you go by the federal guidelines through the scoring system, I am facing a significant amount of prison time. I have worked on myself and done things I hope to assist in mitigating my punishment. My lawyers have been bouncing documents back and forward all week. I pray my cooperation will be tallied when the judge decides my fate. During this process, I have asked family and friends to write letters on my behalf for the judge to read. I have also authored a personal letter for the judge to read. I pray he reads and learns from these documents to get a better understanding of who I really am and not only dwell on a snapshot of my life when I made bad decisions. For instance, I want the judge to know about rededicating my life to Christ, sobriety, volunteering, obtaining a doctoral degree, writing this Blog, publishing a book, and taking care of my family. I hope these documents give the judge a look at my life through a different lens and not from the government’s.

I am scared to death. Today, I look into the mirror more and not out the window. What I am about to go through but moreover I am worried about my family. They don’t deserve this. It crushes my soul knowing I may not be around to support, care for, or protect them. I would like to ask each of you to say a prayer on my behalf that includes my family. A long struggle is coming to an end, but the consequences are just about to begin. I love and appreciate each of you.