Waiting On God

As I began writing this article, I have been sitting inside the Federal Courthouse waiting to testify in a bribery case.  This is something I really don’t want to be a part of right now.  But I am compelled to assist the government in any case that I have knowledge of.  Thus, I am required to report and answer their questions.  I have so many mixed emotions about testifying. On the one hand, I don’t want anyone else to get into trouble while on the other I have signed a proffer that states I will participate. The government was very methodical in its line of questioning with me. They asked me tough questions, but it allowed me to explain my reasoning or state of mind at a particular time.  My testimony centered around the defendant making a statement to me.  While the defense took the opportunity to discredit me and at times tried to embarrass me.  The statement the defendant made to me today is as true as it was when he made it in 2018. The defense attorney tried to discredit me and act like I was falsifying statements. That was his mistake. He forgot I am a man of God and I had prayed for the armor of God to protect me and the fact I had so many prayer warriors praying for me.  In December at an evidentiary hearing, the defense brought up many things about my past life.  They did the same this time.  They brought up issues with alcohol and me being bipolar. I own those things I cannot change them. As Exodus 14:14 states, “The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.  That is exactly what happened to me while testifying I had given everything to the Lord and he gave me the words, the calmness, and the fortitude to answer each question openly and honestly.  I don’t know how the trial will end up I pray for the individual there is a favorable outcome and God may change his life as he has mine. I do know when I left the court house I had a feeling of awe because my GOD showed up and showed out.

I was notified the other day my sentence is getting moved for the twelfth time and will be on May 8^th. A lot has occurred in the past 3.5 years of my life.  Waiting on the legal system has been a sentence in itself.  It has placed my life on hold. I go to bed and wake up each morning with the fear I may have to serve time in prison. It is like a yoke around my neck.  During this time, I waited but not patiently for God to deliver me. I know I should be more patient with God.  Am I the only one that would love to ask God for an answer and wished it was answered on my time?  Selfish right?  I know in my heart I need to wait on God because he is working for me each moment.  I don’t believe in coincidences.  God has already predetermined my life and I know he has placed me here for a reason.  It is my job to ask and seek what that purpose is in my life. Waiting is hard for me being an extrovert with a strong Type A personality. I have learned waiting on God is the one unalterable and comprehensive expression of a true relationship with Christ in whom we live.  I wished I had found the patience to wait on Him sooner, but I kept giving him my problems and taking them back. What a stressful and emotional roller coaster. I finally gave my legal troubles to Him in September 2022 and he has brought peace into my life.  I am not going to say I don’t stop and think about it every day because I do. But I leave it in his hands and pray he helps me with a favorable outcome. Psalms 145: 14-15 states, “The LORD upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. The eyes of all look expectantly to you, and you give them their food in due season.” Essentially, God’s people are meant to be the interpreter. We are meant to prove there is nothing nobler or more blessed in the exercise of our free will than to use it waiting on God.” So, I patiently wait and if my sentencing gets put off again I know I will remain committed to God. Waiting on God to give me my life’s direction provides me time for Him to come to me, in His own way and with divine power, I know in my life I have waited for too little on God, otherwise, He would have given me in due season all I needed. If the words YES, NO, and WAIT are important to God, then they must be important to me.