Pruning My Life

It seems if we simplify life, it is so much more enjoyable. When we try and spread ourselves thin, we only sprinkle the events in our lives. I needed to simplify what is important to my life. All this time I have had to reflect there are only two things that matter, God and Family. Everything else is just stuff that occupied my life.

As I take inventory of my life to this point, I have accomplished many significant feats in the business world. But I have done a bad job following God and spending the time I needed with my family.  I deeply regret it. I was too selfish thinking the job needed me to flow smoothly or I was needed for a crucial decision. The truth of the matter is if you dropped dead today everything you were doing in your life would proceed forward. The job, the card game with the guys, drinking with people, and the list goes on. But your ability to serve God and to spend time with your family will be completely lost.  I can remember looking forward to hanging out with friends instead of my family. I was wrong. I can remember looking forward to watching a football versus going to the Lord’s house. That was a selfish character flaw. I would not trade anything for my relationship with my God and Family today. I suggest if you are letting life get in the way start pruning your life before it is too late.

Have you said, “I’m sorry so much it makes you sick?”  I have. I am tired of those two words consuming so much of my vocabulary. Those I love know it is just an illicit response that I have programmed in my head to say. Does it magically make the situation go away? No. But, it does if you do not abuse it like I have during my life. I want to be able to admit I was wrong and change. It is hard when you have used those two little words so much that it offends those you love more than having any real meaning. I have realized change and promising to do better is the only way for “I’m Sorry” to mean anything. Words alone are nothing without applying the work to make things right. I am a member of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). You know I used to think I did not have a problem and that AA was for people who are weak and fall-down drunks. That is far from the case. I did not drink every day and I didn’t always have a craving to drink. I had a problem with not quitting. It made me feel like a different person. All the stress in my life was alleviated and I could be someone else for a few hours. See, I abused alcohol and binge drank. That makes me an alcoholic. I realized during that time I hated myself. I can recall making that statement repeatedly. I did not like the person I had become, and I continued down the same path without making the changes I needed to make. Yes, I was an extraordinarily successful businessman.  I was involved in many things that made me influential and impactful every day. But deep down I was hurting and medicating to cover my problems. By drinking, I numbed the pain temporarily. The pain of falling short in my life with God and my family was an issue. I continued riding the path and going through the cycles. I would change for 6 months and then fall right back into the old lifestyle. Not until I hit rock bottom did, I change. I was on the verge of spending time in jail, losing my family, losing my job, and losing God. I went to church with my sister, and I never will forget getting down on my knees at that altar and I asked God to come back into my life. I had already made the promise to him that I was through drinking. I later made that promise to my family and God has kept me for the last 3.5 years. I knew I had to come back to him because he never left me.

My wife spent a recent weekend in Troy with our daughters for homecoming. I typically watch Alabama games with my son. However, he had to work so I decided to go watch the game and eat some oysters at one of my old hangout places. As I sat at the oyster bar eating oysters and drinking my coke zero. I watched the amount of alcohol that was being served by the bartenders. As I watched the game, a lady beside me ordered a crown and diet coke. I sat there thinking wow that was one of my favorite drinks. My next thought was to thank God that I did not have to have one. As I continued to reflect, I remembered the money I wasted, the hangovers, the possibility of getting a DUI or having to say I am sorry again for the thousandth time. I realized, even more, it wasn’t just the alcohol I was addicted to I was addicted to people liking me. The drinking and the bad decisions I made were attributed to people wanting to hang with me or to get their approval. Wow! As I looked even deeper, I displayed to people the Michael that would drink with you and set bad examples. Instead of the well-educated and loving person. How would Jesus look at my previous behavior never come to my mind. I was so blind not to put Him first. Today, that is not the case. It matters what God and my family think. God gives me the power to overcome those obstacles while my family keeps me grounded.

Funny after I surrendered my life back to God, he started pruning my life.  Why? Because pruning one’s life promotes new growth. He started by taking away the alcohol. I would be lying if I said I do not think about it today. But I know the promise I made and the things he has done in my life aren’t worth the chaos and destruction that comes with drinking. He pruned my medical condition. God led me to a great psychiatrist to diagnose my bipolar condition. As I have learned about this condition, I know without a shadow of a doubt I can no longer drink because of the side effects it has on me. Another pruning in my life was taking people out of my life. It hurt to let people go, but I have not looked back. It is like cutting a lock.  The people in your life have a hold on your life and when that lock is cut you become free and no longer burdened with their toxicity.

If we pray enough and trust God, he will make the precision cuts where they are needed. I have noticed pruning my life’s weak wood allows my roots to send good energy to my life. Rather than adding or changing, pruning may be needed in your life. God, in wisdom and care, does the work of spiritual pruning in our hearts. John 15: 1-2 states, “I am the true vine, and my father is the gardener. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit.” As Christians, our lives are molded, shaped, and purposed for our good and God’s glory. Jesus is the True Vine. Apart from Him, we find no source, no life, and no fruit. But in him, we find purpose, direction, and blooming. I have come to realize that the fruit we bear serves as evidence of God’s work in our hearts; my understanding, comparison, and kindness toward others, my heart and mind renewed to love the things God, maturity in the truth and wisdom found in the Bible, and lives that reflect and speak of Jesus. I am glad God has pruned my life. Today, I can honestly say the fruit I bear will be blessed by His pruning. My point in this article is simple. We must quit holding on to things that are useless to us. It is extremely hard to move forward and grow when our hands and heart are full of baggage from our past. I am grateful for what I have in my life. Releasing what I can. Getting ready to become more, less, and better. I want to thank God for pruning my life.